BY: FUNMILOLA ADEDEJI.

We are in the season where love is the only word on people’s lips, where lovers are seen holding hands, exchanging gifts while some people make it a prayer point to be given a Valentine’s gift. We also hear different genres of music devoted to appreciating the beauty of love, couples go on photoshoots with matching outfits, and posts about love are circulated everywhere. Well, all of these are inevitable. To classify all these demonstrations of love, we would refer to it as ‘oppression’.

With the pressure that comes with Valentine’s, some will try and impress, entice, and seduce to get a partner. Many will have their feelings hurt along the line, some will become depressed, many will be distracted during this period, and some will experience what we refer to as breakfast. It is a yearly ritual that must be fulfilled.

Above all of these, there is one aspect people don’t look into which is far beyond erotic love: this is what I call SELF LOVE. Self love as the name implies is the love for one’s self. It’s also the act of embracing every part of your being. There is more to providing for what you need materially and taking care of yourself. You can get Valentine’s gifts and not be happy. Having someone to gift you a Valentine’s gift won’t give you self-love, it can only make you feel somewhat fulfilled and cherished but self-love encompasses loving and appreciating who you are, embracing your very self.

Furthermore, In this present age, it’s not uncommon to find a lot of people who don’t understand the concept of self-love not to talk of incorporating it into their everyday life. Such people easily get their feelings hurt during Valentine’s because they place people’s show of love for them over the love they have for themselves. Therefore, not getting enough gifts or enough colonnade of love from friends leaves them sad. To avoid feeling down in the mouth, love yourself for who you are with or without people’s gifts.

They say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. Let this be your mantra and guide. In this season of love, celebrate yourself and also show love to the people around you because part of loving oneself is extending love to the people around you. Conversely, understanding the concept of self-love is paramount to self-confidence; both are highly interwoven. Loving oneself makes you stand out against all odds and it distinguishes one as priceless.

Going down memory lane, there is a story of a girl who committed suicide because her boyfriend decided to end things with her. Similarly, there are stories of people who decided to stay in abusive relationships for reasons best known to them while some get killed in the process some get the chance to escape. These examples could be linked to a lack of love for oneself amongst other things.

By the same token, It would be great if people understand that there is time and season for everything. This knowledge would guide teenagers and youths from jumping into a relationship that could serve as a distraction to their education and other aspects of their lives. Ensure that the right thing is done at the right time.

Apart from self-love, we have to be intentional about personal self growth which includes making conscious efforts to enrich oneself intellectually. Instead of brooding over not getting a Val or gifts. How about reading books that align with your values or engaging in productive activities? Find something fun to watch, go for educational movies, and socialize with the right set of people. The goal is to be occupied with the right activity.

To summarize, love is a great thing, most especially self-love. It is not restricted to sexual relationships alone. It starts with loving oneself. In this season of love, the fact that you are still single isn’t something to be ashamed of because being in a relationship isn’t what defines you. Besides, they say that this life is seasonal therefore your time will come. Till then, do not be oppressed!