Written by Bamidele Imisioluwa.

It was the penultimate Saturday before our annual choir anniversary. Everyone was in high spirits and rigorous song sessions were held, no stone was to be left unturned for the grand event. After the last session that day, brother Mike, the choir coordinator, brought out invitation cards and started distributing to us all, one after the other, for us to invite our friends and family until it got to my turn and I objected. He queried my refusal saying,

 “Sister Layo, why would you refuse to collect the invitation cards?”

 I retorted sharply, “I have nobody to invite”.

He scoffed and said, “What happened to your friends?” 

I responded conclusively, “They wouldn’t come.”

He looked at me and calmly responded, “You don’t have friends but a crowd.” After this harsh but truthful response to me, he brought the choir meeting to a hold.

        Beside myself in sadness, I ruminated over what the choir coordinator had said. I walked down the memory lane and remembered the times that I needed the support of the people I called friends but they never came through. I wailed in realization, “I am surrounded by crowd!” I couldn’t help but cried myself to sleep thereafter.

       Today, many people are in the shoes of Layo. The people they are surrounded by are not supportive, yet they tag them friends. Many people grieve when they are in dire situations. Unfortunately, the people they associate with can’t come through for them. But if these people need help, they come to them, sadly the reverse is the case when it’s their turn; they get little to no assistance.

        Someone once tweeted: “if you need help and you aren’t able to dial anyone on your contact list, you have just numbers, you don’t have a good network of people”. Of course, the tweet created a lot of heat on social media and many actually saw that they were only piling numbers on their phone and not networking. It is a sad reality that many people are in this situation, today; this puts them in a mist and makes them question their relevance and value to the people around them or the importance of others to them.

        Also, there’s no gainsaying the fact that it is hurtful when you try your best to be there for people but it is not requited and all you get from them are excuses and disappointments. Although, one shouldn’t have an entitlement to people reciprocating our good deeds to them, it is natural to want people to give back the good we give them. But then, life is or can be unfair. This has plunged many into depression and paranoia.

       On a last note, dear reader(s), I urge you to take out time to do a brief assessment of the company you keep to know if they are people or mere crowd. “Crowd” are  like air flowing in no direction, whereas “people” will be your strength and support. Are you peopled or crowded? A question worth pondering on.